LaLaLaand/BLOG

Checking in...

15.07.2026

Alright. I know, how this might look. Two posts in this "blog", three and a half months apart.
But trust me, I have fairly good reasons for this:
FIRST: I broke my laptop and was too lazy and/or depressed to fix it.
SECOND: I had a lot going on and I kind forgot about this website.
THIRD: Even though stuff happened, I never thought to myself "Hey, I should write this in my blog.
Now, the first reason might SOUND reasonable, until I tell you, that I (a software developer) fucked up my laptops OS.
I was using PopOS for a while before I wrote the first entry on this site. But I grew kind of tired of it. Mainly because it was just really limiting and had some weird quirks I grew really tired of.
This process had been going on for a while, but I was (again) too lazy and depressed to actually commit to switching OS. So much so, that I downloaded an Arch distro in November and only tried installing it in like April.
But I guess at that point my image was too old, because some of the install steps didnt work, but I had already reformated and repartinioned my disk. So, I couldnt use my laptop.
The only way to try creating new OS-images was through my Raspberry Pi. Which sucked to do, obviously. I had this weird-ass OS installed from back in school and it ran like shit from a constipated ass.
Well, after some months of trying occasionally to get my laptop working, I talked to my colleague, and he said, he could just do that for me.
And so he did. And so I'm writing this. And so I'm back.
Hopefully...
Well, I AM planning on developing a tool for this site, which you will be able to find on the main-page as "finance-tool". So, that I am working on.
I'm also thinking of making the site just prettier and making more sub-sites, making the about me larger, maybe getting some of the cool little things other people have.
I still like the concept of all this, but I am still in a (at this point pretty long) depressive episode. So who knows...

First post

03.04.2026

I guess, this is the first post on my blog.
To be honest, I don't quite know, why I wanted to start the blog, or the website in general, I guess.
I was never a big poster on any social media. But I feel, that this web-revolution (web-renaissance?) is important. And writing is one of the few things I can do.
But let me start at the beginning of my journey with media and the internet, so I can start with a not so clean slate, which I hate...
I was born in 2001. Yikes. Kinda.
My first experiences with a computer were in computer-class in primary school. And I understood everything fairly quickly, which was new to me, as I was very much not academically gifted. (I've been to many doctors over the years for different psychological issues and they all told me I should get tested for ADHD, but that was never at the top of my priorities, tbh.)
Because of those new and exciting feeling experiences of beiong good at something, I decided, that computers should be my thing. But I was never good at picking a "thing" and sticking with it -as you will undoubtedly see. and I had many unrealistic "things" after this. But computers alwys kinda stuck around.
My first PC was some sort of desktop from like 2004, on which I played some Point-And-Click-Adventures and whatever Software I could get. In primary school, I really liked strategy-games, but I could never get the hang of them. So that never really went anywhere.
Also in primary school, I had my first shots at programming, using a software called "BYOB - Build Your Own Blocks". It was basically just the old "Snap! Berkeley". And I had some fun with it. I had my first few attempts at animation and game programming, but I also formed a habit that plagues me to this day:
I can't finish any projects...
I always start stuff and then quit, because I just don't care enough. That has always been frustrating, but not this far into the story. Back then, I didn't care.
I graduated primary school and got into the "Gymnasium", which here in Germany is like the school for kids who could get on track to get higher education. And I continued taking all kinds of computer-classes and even took the IT-course, with which I also graduated and got my "Abitur".
Now, I work as a programmer. And I still like it, but I am also not sure, what I really want to do, because I realize, that I am not happy.
I try to do some "passion-projects", but I find I have no passion. I try to get more happiness from hobbies, but no hobby feels important. Which is kinda why I drop everything.
And Social Media was kind of always in the background of all this. I don't know, if there ever was a day in my life since I got my smartphone, that I haven't watched some YouTube-Videos. I tried to "do" Instagram, back when that had a personality. I tried streaming - on Twitch and a website called "Caffeine" (Which I think is still around, but shifted focus to basketball or rap or something. Back then, it was just a gaming platform).
I also was kinda active on Twitter for a while in like 2018 - 2019, but I didn't have anything to say and I didn't care about whether people knew, I existed. So I just endlessly scrolled Twitter, until Elon bought it and I left. That was pretty hard for me, but I got on Tumblr and saw, that people were generally cooler there, so I'm not mad anymore. But someone should kill the Nazis there (On Twitter (in minecraft)).
So, yeah. I kinda hope, that I stick with this website for a bit. Would be a first tho.
This ended on a really low note - I'm sorry.